Why Toddlers Hit, Bite, and Push and What Actually Helps

(Real Talk for Real Parents: Part 1)

There’s a moment every parent has, usually around 18 months to 3 years old, when your sweet little cherub suddenly… whacks somebody with a block.

Or bites their friend because they wanted a toy.

Or shoves a sibling just for standing too close.

And your brain goes straight to:

“Where did THAT come from?”

“Is my kid mean??”

“What are they doing at daycare?!”

“Am I messing this up?”

Here’s the truth that will let your shoulders drop a little:

Your child isn’t mean. They’re not broken. They’re not “bad.”

They’re developing exactly the way toddlers develop.

Toddlers hit, bite, and push for the same reason adults yell in traffic:

They feel something big…

They don’t know how to express it…

And they react before they think.

Except the toddler version is cuter, faster, and usually stickier.

Why it happens

Toddlers are still learning:

– impulse control

– social skills

– emotional regulation

– language

– problem-solving

– how to exist with other small humans who also want the blue truck

Combine all that with a brain that’s still under construction, and you get moments that look chaotic but are actually developmentally normal.

What actually helps (and won’t make it worse)

The magic formula is:

Calm + consistency + connection.

Toddlers absorb your tone long before they absorb your words.

When adults respond with a steady, predictable message, kids learn that emotions are safe and behavior is something they can work on, not something that makes them “bad.”

This is literally the core of what we do every day at A Village Childcare.

What This Looks Like at A Village Childcare

Inside our home-like environment, toddlers have:

• predictable routines

• caregivers who step in before things escalate

• the same calm messaging every single time

• adults who model gentle hands, kind words, and problem-solving

• space to practice social skills without shame

We don’t punish.

We don’t embarrass.

We don’t force apologies.

We coach.

A toddler who bites or hits isn’t pushed away, they’re guided closer.

They’re held to consistent boundaries but wrapped in connection at the same time.

This is why children in my program grow into:

– kids who share naturally

– kids who handle frustration better

– kids who treat others kindly

– kids who feel safe enough to learn

And parents start to notice real changes at home because the approach is the same every day, with every child, from the moment they walk in the door.

If your toddler is hitting, biting, or pushing, you’re not failing.

You’re parenting a human who is learning how to be a human.

And you’re not alone in it.

At A Village Childcare, we support toddlers (and parents) through every one of these messy, normal, beautifully human phases with expertise, patience, humor, and a whole lot of heart.

Your child is safe here.

Your child is understood here.

Your child grows here.